How to make fake poo

Sometimes I even shock myself.

1. Add fluorescein to sugar water, then add gravy browning till you get the appropriate colour.
2. Soak cotton wool sheets in it, then lovingly handcraft them into the desired shape.
3. Add sweetcorn to obtain the desired artistic effect.

As to why you'd want to make fake fluorescent poo, you'll have to come to the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine's Secret Insects of Bloomsbury event next week and watch my demonstration to find out.